Here's to Good Health

I was struck with another killer migraine today... I start feeling sorry for myself but really I'm so lucky that most days I can make art and live my life. It reminds me to take as much joy in those days that I can.

I heard a story on This American Life today about a blind man who lives as if he can see. It was inspiring. So many people overcome so many extreme obstacles in their lives. I can do it too.

Painting Migraines

I get migraines. They are really terrible and sometimes
it takes a few days for them to go away. This week I was sick
Sunday, Monday and part of Tuesday. But I was determined to
stick to my painting a day in my sketchbook even though most of
the time I had a pillow over my head and took way too much medicine.
I've always wanted to try to paint my migraines so that's what I did.
I didn't use the timer, that would have been too stressful but I think
they only took about 15 minutes each, (the first 2)

I get them on one side of my head so its just split in half and then the
reverberations of everything around are awful.

Sometimes my lower half doesn't feel all that bad but from my eyes up its
a horrible mess.

And then it starts to lift and I know I'll feel like a truck hit me for a little while
but I know things are getting better. I found this quote by Dr Seuss that
just seemed perfect for the situation.
You know, I'm grateful I was able to do work the last few days and am
now totally pumped to get back to real life. Thanks everyone who sent
me good thoughts on instagram and FB. I truly appreciate it.
How do you try to cope with pain?

A Beginning of a Series

While I was painting my backgrounds the last 2 weeks for Mati's class,
I felt compelled to start a series of memory portraits. I don't know where
I'm going with the other paintings yet but I have a clear vision of what I'd
like to do with these.
I had a very bad spell with my migraines last weekend, basically not being
able to get out of bed. The pain gets so bad but I am still so aware of the
world around me, that it's a beautiful day outside, the birds are chirping, life
is going on around me. I always feel optimistic that I'll be back in real
life soon..(and I am better than I was last year, much better) I want to paint
my isolation, yet the activity and the beauty of nature and friends and family.
I had thought about doing migraine paintings before but I always thought
about them as being dark and dreary, that's not where I am with it now. I am
trying to make something good from the bad. Below is the beginning of a second
painting.

Blueberries. May Painting a Day.

The thing is I have a monster migraine today.. I've been so
much better, I'm working with a nutritionist and the food
changes have made a big difference and I'm 80% migraine
free now. (I actually, sadly have a food sensitivity to blueberries)
But sometimes I still get a whopper, I don't know
what causes them. Today I just made myself get up and
do my painting. Not feeling well helped me to simplify,
which is something I've been wanting to do. Today I had to
and I'm happy with the results.
I have to confess here that I did the lettering on a separate
piece of paper because I just wasn't confident enough to
paint it right on the art. That goes against my principle, since
one of the goals here is to not be precious about the piece
and whatever happens, is what it is. But today I feel
vulnerable. I'll add it in for real another day.
Please sign up for the April Giveaway if you haven't yet.

IF-Yesterday

Yesterday.
Yesterday it was raining. I traveled from my village to
the city on the train to work with my partner on my book,
"I know I'm Not an Elephant". I had dinner with my
husband and son, who is home from college this week
for spring break. He turned 19 on Sunday. It's hard
to believe. I followed my new migraine diet and I'm
headache free. It was a very good day despite the rain.

Computer Migraine Damage

This morning I woke up to a totally obvious but yet ah-ha moment
for me. I suffer from migraines, not just sometimes but chronic ones,
and I have tried just about everything to help me combat them.
Medication, meditation, acupuncture, food restrictions, so far nothing
really works. But this morning I had a thought that staring at the
computer screen all day has got to be doing major damage in my already
messed up migraine head.
So starting today I'm going on a week long test, Just 45 minutes in the
morning and again in the evening do do my business.
Addict that I am, this will be hard, but I've given up chocolate and
caffeine too with no dire effects.
I did say a few weeks ago I would start doing more digital drawings..
That's on hold for now, I'm actually looking forward to the possibilities
the opened time will bring. I'm sure I waste a lot on the screen.
Any tips on breaking away from the computer?

Intentions

This is the year to slow down, to get healthy and rid myself of
migraines forever. I swear, I'll do anything. But while I'm working
on that I just want to notice the small things, the details.

Feel the cold, see the color, hear the sounds.

Make the simple things special.

IF-Zoom

When I have a migraine all I can focus on is my head. 

All these terrible hammer and nails and tanks and bombs

and things just zooming through and it's all black and yucky... 

Today it's gone though so I'm happy again! this image

came to me while I was lying there so at least something

constructive came out of the down time. Sorry for such 

a down post.

Teacup Series

It turns out that caffeine is my enemy. Once I
completely it cut out my migraines are about
70% better. So no more of my beloved green
teas. My brother used to bring me back a whole
variety of them from Tokyo, they made me so happy,
but I won't touch the stuff anymore. So I'm having
herbal teas only.. I haven't found one that I love as
much. Any suggestions? I grow lot's of herbs in my
garden so I've been using lemon verbena, mint, an anise
and chamomile. It's very refreshing to use the fresh plant
directly in hot water. I need to take time to choose the
right teacup each morning so it's still a special ritual.
I've had a set of these for 25 years or so. They were
a series of patterns put out by Swid Powell by famous
architects. This one is by Robert Venturi called
"Grandmother"

Chocolate and Migraines

I've written about my migraines before..I'm doing
a little better the past few weeks!! But the chocolate.
It's a trigger but I can't seem to keep away. I can
eliminate wine and dairy but not the chocolate. So
I'm putting it out here now so I remember and I'm
accountable... No more chocolate, and I'll see how I
am in a few weeks. It'll be interesting to see if this helps.

Hopeful

I'm not complaining here, just explaining.... about not working,
not blogging, not really living.  The month of December and the
beginning of January were basically lost to Migraine... I just let
it go and tried not to stress on top of it, that just makes it worse.
The good news is that during it all I started going to acupucture
with the most amazing, intuitive, experienced woman, Dody.
I've had a week (1 week!!!! even that little seems amazing to me)
basically headache free. I did things, and saw friends, and cooked
meals, the small things seem SO special when you have chronic
pain for so long. I started drinking green juices daily, green tea
and raw veggies. getting all the toxins out.
 My head isn't there for drawing yet, but I'm trying to get there,
and trying not to worry about not being there. I'm feeling hopeful
that the bad stretch is over.....

IF-Boundaries

My post today is about something I don't usually write about.
I get terrible, horrible chronic migraines, every few days. The
kind that stop me in my tracks, block my brain, bring everything
to a halt. Last night when I couldn't sleep because the pain was
too much, the image for boundaries just came to me. It's my
brain, my migraine. I don't get colors, they have no shape. It's just
a big square thick thing filled with muck that I can't get out of.
The clarity is outside the box. All I want is to be out there but it's so
rare to have days that are completely clear and light. What it
would mean to me would be that I would have consecutive days
of creativity, I would get where I wanted to be, I wouldn't be
knocked down constantly.
I started thinking about people who have other diseases. My
mother in law had a stroke 7 years ago, and is now stuck
in a wheel chair, paralyzed on 1/2 her body, but she is so positive
and living a full life. It's encouraging.
I'm optimistic I'll get through this. Not with Doctors anymore.
No luck with them, but with natural remedies, dietary changes
acupuncture. I'm going to get over this.